Someone's Thinking of You
by Nightdew
Summary: Prospective bride Feng-Qi's first meeting with her Emperor is doomed to failure since she can't escape from being compared to Nuriko AND she's coming down with a bad cold. Or is it?
1. Chapter 1

I prefer to call Hotohori's bride by her Chinese name of Feng-Qi, as it is in the manga. (Hotohori's Chinese name is Xing Shu or Cai Pi Di, for anyone who is interested). This is just my version of "how it might have happened". For my inspiration, I draw your attention to Volume 8 (Friend) Chapter 47 (Watching You Always) p.145 and volume 12 (Girlfriend) Chapter 67 (Matrimony) p56. A whole story from one sneeze...

**Someone's Thinking of You**

**Chapter 1**

Today was the day. The biggest day any girl in the empire could hope for. The day, so Madame Song told her, that her whole life had been building up to. And all she wanted to do was go back to bed.

"You need to make an effort, Feng-Qi." Madame Song pinched her cheeks until they hurt, in an attempt to bring more colour into them. "His Majesty has rejected enough potential brides already. You are by far the prettiest we have left."

"I'm sorry." She sighed. "I don't feel well."

"You never feel well, Feng-Qi." Madame Song frowned at her handiwork. "That's no excuse to neglect your social skills. Acting the wallflower is not going to capture His Majesty's heart. We've all heard he prefers the lively type."

It wasn't her fault she was shy. It had been all right at home in her village with people she had grown up with. Her in the Inner Seraglio it was all court gossip and backbiting. She felt completely out of place. And it wasn't her fault she wasn't strong, either; that she got tired by mid-afternoon and caught every cold that was going around. Her mother had called it "delicate". It was supposed to be one of the attributes of a ladylike woman. Or so she had thought.

It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't all kept comparing her to Kang-Lin, a previous prospective bride to whom she was supposed to bear an uncanny resemblance. Every failure on her part to meet up to Madame Song's notion of the ideal empress was met with, "Kang-Lin was always so strong," "Kang-Lin spoke her mind," "Kang-Lin was totally focused on winning His Majesty's favour." It seemed not to matter to Madame Song that the word was Kan-Lin had actually been a man and a Celestial Warrior of Suzaku at that. Not a great deal of news from the male world reached the Inner Seraglio, and the things that did were often twisted beyond all recognition.

"Now take small steps and remember to be flattering. And smile for once."

Madame Song pushed her out of the door. Feng-Qi swallowed. Her throat was so sore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The throne room was enormous. His Majesty was sitting at the top of five steps with an attendant on each side and innumerable ministers and officials gathered round the edges of the room. Feng-Qi could feel fever beginning to run up and down her back.

"Welcome to our royal presence. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

His Majesty was wearing a dark robe with the Imperial Seal on the chest and both shoulders, his hair caught up in an elegant crown. He really was as beautiful as they said he was. But he sounded distracted and looked as if his thoughts were elsewhere. Rumour had it that he was in love with the Priestess of Suzaku. He probably didn't want this meeting any more than she did.

"I am Feng-Qi, your Majesty." Bowing was making the blood rush to her head and her nose start to run. Why had Madame Song made her do this?

His Majesty started at her words and stared at her more closely. What had she done now? She was trying her best.

"Is something wrong, Your Majesty?"

"No." He shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts. "Our apologies for our rudeness. You simply resemble someone we know."

"Kang-Lin?" she asked.

"Kang-Lin? Ah! Nuriko. Yes."

At least he was looking at her properly now, only she was afraid he would see her nose running. And her voice had cracked just then. She mustn't let that happen again.

He leant forward and a frown appeared between his perfect eyes. He looked at his ministers.

"This girl is sick. Why was she brought into our presence in this condition?"

Already? She had failed already? No, that mustn't happen. She couldn't go back a failure. Tears started to spill from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I'm sorry to be such a disappointment."

She was sobbing now. She couldn't help it; she felt so ill.

To her shock, His Majesty got up from the throne and came down the steps. He put his hands gently on her shoulders.

"No, that wasn't what I meant. You can't help it if you're not well. It's Feng-Qi, isn't it?" He raised his voice. "Will someone please escort Feng-Qi back to the Inner Seraglio?"

"No!" She clutched at his robe before she realised what she was doing. "Don't send me back already."

"You need to be in bed. We can meet again another day."

"But… I can't bear what they'll say." The words were coming out despite her.

A look of righteous anger crossed His Majesty's face. She imagined he could be quite formidable in battle, despite his feminine beauty. "Are you being treated poorly?"

"No, not really." She had to be honest. "I just don't want to be a failure."

"You're not a failure, Feng-Qi." He gave her shoulder a little squeeze. "You're just not well. Attendant! Prepare Feng-Qi a chamber near to ours. And send her our physician."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

She had caught a feverish cold. Her nose streamed and her throat was raw. Every time she woke up, she was either shivering violently or bathed in sweat. In the Inner Seraglio, she would have felt wretched. In the ornate, curtained chamber of His Majesty's private apartments, she was sorry to say she didn't feel a lot better. But at least it was peaceful. And then there were the gifts.

He had sent something every day. Flowers that must have come from an Imperial hothouse, since they were totally out of season. Fresh fruit and delicate treats to tempt her appetite. Even a scroll of poetry with the Imperial Seal stamped on it. She had heard that His Majesty was aloof and narcissistic. Nobody had told her he was so kind. He had done everything possible to make her comfortable, from providing medicines to having someone change the pillows. And he had issued an official apology for aggravating her illness by holding an audience with her in the first place. Not that it was his fault at all, Feng-Qi thought, but it just proved how thoughtful a man he was. He was the kind of man one could quickly become very fond of.

He had been paying her visits in person too. Just a brief call every day, to ask after her health. Sometimes she had to confess she slept through it, although the attendants always told her that His Majesty had been to see her. Today, though, she was quite awake. He took a chair by her bedside and folded his hands in his lap. His long hair was loose and strands were falling over his face. He truly was a beautiful man.

"How are you today, Feng-Qi?"

"Not much better, Your Majesty, I'm afraid."

He reached out and patted her hand. "What have I said? There is no need to apologise for something you cannot help." He gave a sigh. "Although I confess I have done the same at times."

"Your Majesty has nothing to apologise for."

He smiled sadly. "You're very kind, Feng-Qi."

"No, Your Majesty. It is you who are kind."

He gave a deep breath and looked about the room. "You know, I still cannot get over your resemblance to Nuriko." A small smile came to the corner of his lips. "Nuriko would have murdered to sleep in this room. So close to her Emperor."

"So it is not true, then? That Kang-Lin was really a man?"

"On the contrary. It is quite true. I myself was somewhat shocked by the discovery."

"And she – he – still wished to be close to…?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I had not known until then that such people existed in the world."

"Nor I, my Lord."

A serious look came over his face. "Still, we must pray for her safety. For all their safety. And yet…" The smile returned. "It is ironic, is it not?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The Imperial visits had not gone unnoticed. Thankfully, Madame Song was not granted access to His Majesty's private apartments, so Feng-Qi did not have to endure her opinion on the matter, but as her health improved, she noticed a certain look in the attendants' eyes when they announced, "His Majesty is here to see you, my Lady."

Feng-Qi wasn't at all sure it meant what they seemed to think it meant. His Majesty was a kind man; she had fallen ill while attending his presence. It was only natural he would be concerned for her welfare. Once she was completely well, the visits would end. She would go back to the Inner Seraglio. It wasn't what she wanted. Not at all. But how could it be helped?

It wasn't just for the usual reasons that she didn't want to return: the backbiting; the comments. As she fingered the fallen petals of yesterdays' flowers, Feng-Qi realised that it was far more than that. It was His Majesty. His eyes. His voice. The gentleness of his touch. When other people had talked of falling in love, Feng-Qi had never fully understood what they meant. She hadn't realised how it could fill you completely, how one person could become the entire world for you. Only she didn't know what she could possibly do about it. How could she stop all this from ending?

In her mind, she could hear Madame Song's voice: "Kang-Lin would have made the most of this opportunity." But she wasn't Kang-Lin. She wasn't a Celestial Warrior or a rulebreaker. She was just a shy girl from a rural province who had fallen in love with her emperor.

Outside the chamber, she could hear voices. Two, maybe three older men; they might be His Majesty's advisors. It sounded like they were deep in debate but she could only catch some of the words.

"…really wise for His Majesty to be considering a sickly bride? The heir to the throne must be strong."

"…unfortunate resemblance to the Celestial Warrior…have checked this one really is a woman?"

With a blush, she realised they were discussing her. She was about to cover her ears with a pillow to blot out the embarrassment when there was a sudden silence outside, and then a different voice, one that made her heart leap to her throat.

"Since you apparently see fit to discuss these matters without consulting your emperor, allow us to make three things abundantly clear. One: Feng-Qi is not Nuriko. Any comparisons between the two, favourable or otherwise, will cease. Two: it is our royal prerogative to consider any bride we wish. And three: our heir, whoever his mother, will be as beautiful, intelligent and talented a ruler as his father. Do we make ourselves understood?"

Feng-Qi smiled to herself as mumblings of, "Yes, Your Majesty," went on outside. So that was the famous narcissism. But, more than that, His Majesty had said _consider_. He would consider. Maybe there was hope. She must be brave. She must find her own strength.

The curtain drew back. Feng-Qi wondered if he saw her blush. His face was even more beautiful with its colour heightened by anger. But it softened instantly as he sat by her bed.

"How are you today, Feng-Qi?"

"Much better, thank you, Your Majesty. The physician says I may get up tomorrow. Your Majesty, I was wondering…" She had to get it out now, before she lost courage. Suzaku help her. Celestial Warriors give her strength.

"What is it?" He touched her hand. It made her heart flutter.

"Where will I be sleeping after tonight?" Now she really was blushing.

"Why here, of course. This is your chamber now. Unless… you do not care for this arrangement. It you wish to be elsewhere…"

There was a vulnerable, almost sad look in his eyes. Suddenly the tales of unrequited love seemed entirely believable. And it didn't seem hard to be brave at all. Feng-Qi took his hand in both of hers and squeezed it.

"I only wish to be close to you, my Lord."

A hesitant smile came to his face. "Good. I am very glad."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

They were walking along a covered walkway together, by the edge of His Majesty's private gardens. The sun was going down already, but Feng-Qi felt that this first day of feeling well and strong could go on forever. His Majesty was walking slowly, going at her pace. He was wearing the crown again, the one he had been wearing the first time they had met, and a wide-sleeved robe of Imperial yellow. She thought she would never tire of looking at him as long as she lived.

"And I promise you," he said, "you will never be compared to Nuriko again. You are your own woman, Feng-Qi." His colour rose. "And a very beautiful one at that."

Feng-Qi fought down the happy swelling in her heart.

"Still, perhaps I am more like her than I thought I was. Perhaps there is a spark of Suzaku's strength in us all somewhere. And would you really have looked on me were it not for the resemblance?"

He fingered a stray lock of hair that had fallen down from her headpiece.

"I would look on you now."

They walked a little further along the colonnade. A slight gust of wind blew in from the garden. His Majesty sneezed. Feng-Qi hoped he wasn't catching her cold.

"Someone's thinking of you, Your Majesty." It was the polite response.

He turned to her with a faraway look, as if contemplating some new and surprising thought. For a moment, she could almost feel the presence of the absent Kang-Lin hanging between them.

"Yes," he said. "I believe they are."

End.

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_ I hope you all like this story. Please review and tell me what you think._


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